North Korea Has Found The Cure For AIDs, Ebola, Cancer, And Bird Flu
Sarah Fecht
at 12:02 PM Jun 22 2015
Science // 

Great news, guys. A company in North Korea has developed a cure for everything.

North Korea's state-run news agency is reporting that Kumdang-2, a type of ginseng grown in “rare-earth molecular fertilizer” can “prevent different malignant epidemics.” The story was picked up in South Korea, which is currently experiencing a deadly outbreak of MERS (Middle East Respiratory Syndrome), which the makers of Kumdang-2 claim it can cure.

According to this website, just a simple injection of this compound can cure this vast array of diseases:

  • Allergic skin diseases, Ambustion, Chilblain, Engorgement
  • Cosmetic Effects
  • Diabetes
  • Different kinds of inflammation, Fevers of unknown reasons, Loss of appetite
  • Disorders before and after child-delivery
  • Drug Addiction
  • Epidemic diseases including Bird Flu and New Flu, AIDS
  • Gastric hemorrhage, Stomach cramp, Diseases of large and small intestines
  • Heart Diseases, Arthritis
  • Hypotension, Impotence
  • Infection, adhesion and scar after medical operation
  • Liver disorders caused by alcohol
  • Malignant influenza and other kinds of cold
  • Medicinal poisoning, Harm from use of computers, Stomatitis
  • Neuralgia, Neurosis, Debility, Insomnia
  • Pancreatitis, Poisoning by perished food, Thyroid Diseases
  • Polyps, Myalgia, Vegetative Neurosis
  • Spontaneous Gangrene, Epilepsy
  • Sterility caused by undergrowth, Menstrual disorders, Cystitis
  • Stimulant to children's growth, Anti-radioactive
  • Treatment Hepatitis А, �', C, D, E, G
  • Tuberculosis (Т�'), Uterine and other intestinal hemorrhages
  • Various cancers
  • Venereal diseases, Resistance to aging

Afraid of needles? Not a problem! Injecting this drug doesn't even hurt. And it has NO ADVERSE SIDE EFFECTS! That is, unless you think getting rid of wrinkles and acne is a bad thing:

Clinical records have shown many good signs on the face: many wrinkles were removed, granulomas became smaller or removed, and the loosened muscles turned tense resulting in fine complexion. Blackheads, dark dots, freckles, hives, pimples, rashes and all kinds of inflammations disappeared, the facial skin and flesh became clear, soft, white, tender, elastic and smooth, and the eyes glistened.

Hopefully we've made it clear that we are being 100% sarcastic. We couldn't find any peer-reviewed studies from this team of so-called scientists, but there are bigger reasons to be skeptical. If a drug ever claims to cure a bunch of illnesses that are completely unrelated, your bulls**t detector should be blaring. It sucks, but a real-life wonder drug is probably never going to happen.

But wait, North Korea would never lie to us ... right?

[Via the Guardian]

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